


To A Fault

by Savanna (orphan_account)



Series: It's Something In-Between (& and /) [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anger, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Feelings Realization, Hurt Peter, Hurt Tony, Other, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 04:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16674538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Savanna
Summary: Peter starts to forget his hopes about the world. Tony, just as broken as Peter, is the one to restore those hopes."You may be protecting them, but who's protectingyou?"





	To A Fault

**Author's Note:**

> it's sad ;;
> 
> i'm sorry that my writing wasn't at its best in this

The hallways are loud as soon as the bell rings. Kids flow out and head towards lockers, other classrooms, and most importantly the front doors. School is over for the day.

Soon, Peter is one of the last students there. He heads to the library, needing to borrow a book for his English class. His earbuds are in, his eyes are glued to where he's walking, and he's holding his belongings in his hands again. Peter can't remember how, but he had lost his backpack _again_ somewhere along the way. He isn't sure how he'll explain this one to May, isn't sure if he wants to bother trying this time.

The librarian, a usually cross older woman, greets him in a monotone voice. He doesn't say anything back (figures she doesn't want him to), and walks quietly to one of the several empty tables. He sets his things down, then goes and looks for yet another book to add to the pile. His music keeps him calm when it ends up taking him a while to find the book--he's already agitated by everything, he doesn't need more added on. When he finds the book, he checks it out and wastes no time to go home. He's tired; he wants to lay in bed, get some homework done, and maybe sleep before dinnertime.

On the walk home, he passes by several people and even some classmates he recognizes. He can't bear to look at them for very long, and opts to look at the sidewalk instead. Peter feels like he's on an alien planet--he doesn't understand anyone, doesn't get how they're living their lives as normally as before, like they're a united species and he's the outcast. Only, rather than the outcast being left out and not told anything, _he's_ the one who knows everything. 

After all the possibilities Dr. Strange had seen, this was the _only_ one they were able to win? Peter didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to believe that the only way to save humanity was to cast it into oblivion.

Once they had won and those who died had come back to life, they all learned that they were the only ones to remember Thanos and his destruction. No one else did, not even any governments (except Wakanda). When Peter had heard the news from Dr. Strange, he hadn't been angry at first. He took time to consider it. At least May wouldn't be heartbroken and wouldn't keep him from going anywhere. At least his life would be the same, school would be the same, Ned and Michelle would be the same. When Peter got home, though, he realized that wasn't the case. His life was different because _he_ was different, he had changed, and who wouldn't after an experience like that?

Peter's thoughts had quickly turned sour. Was it really better that people didn't know there were such huge threats out there? Was it really better for people to be lied to by their heroes? Peter didn't want to be a part of that, but he was, and he couldn't do anything to change it.

He felt ashamed, too. He didn't feel like a hero, not when he had let half of the team die. Thanos winning for even a moment had been failure in Peter's eyes. He didn't have any doubt that Tony was disappointed. He knew Tony hadn't wanted him to come. Who knows, maybe he was the reason they had lost at all, maybe it was because he had sneaked on that weird ship even though Tony ordered him not to.

By the time he gets a block away from home, Peter has turned his music up to the point where it hurts his ears, and he had scowled so consistently that it was staring to hurt his head. He forces himself to relax, to turn the music down.

It's then that he hears a car slow down, and when he turns and looks the car's back window rolls down. He's suddenly face-to-face with Tony Stark. Peter is confused at first, then he's angry and simultaneously afraid that Tony's angry with him, so he just stands there and waits.

"Get in."

Peter obeys without a word; Tony had said it harshly, and he wonders what Tony is going to say once he's in and Tony has whisked him away.

He climbs in and sets his school books between Tony and himself. He glances and sees that Happy is the driver--he's glad to see him, even though they never got along. Peter then looks over at Tony, who's removed his sunglasses. "Are you kidnapping me?" Peter asks while trying to hide his emotions.

"Yes, if that's what it takes to talk to you. I texted you, kid. I even called you during English class, because you said that teacher didn't care that you had your phone out." He sees Peter's expression and nods, "Yeah, I do listen to you, Peter. Now you get to listen to me." He gestures between them, then. "We should've talked weeks ago. What makes you think you can just drop everything?"

Peter has his eyebrows furrowed. "Why can't I?! I'm eighteen, I'm not a part of any government or organization or team, I'm not-"

Tony blinks, makes a face like he's heard him wrong, "Uh, kid, I made you an Avenger. That wasn't a joke."

Peter stops, stares. He doesn't know what to say.

Tony sighs. He looks away for a moment, then looks back, and Peter can see the care in his eyes. "I'm not talking about that though, that isn't what I meant. You can't just drop off the end of the world, Pete. Strange, Quill, they were worried about you. _I_ was worried about you." Tony looks incredibly hurt, then, like he's in actual physical pain. "You, that day, you...you died in my arms. Sorry that I want to make sure you're okay, that I simply want to see you, after a thing like that."

Peter feels hurt, too. He looks away, out the tinted window at the buildings they're passing by. He briefly wonders where Happy is taking them. "...I-I'm sorry. I just needed some time alone."

"I get it, but really? You could have sent me a text, could have just told me that." Tony's anger- his pain -bubbles up again. "Christ, Peter!! We got back and you left without a word! We had things to do, and you just left! I had to have FRIDAY fly a suit over just to make sure you were, I don't know, _alive_ at least! That you hadn't told anyone, or gotten yourself into more trouble. _Kid_ ," Tony exhales, exhausted, "you can't do that to me. I'm supposed to look over you."

Peter looks at him, then, eyes sparkling with equal anger, equal frustration. "Who says?! _May_ certainly didn't! I was going to text you eventually, okay? I've got a ton of stress right now and being kidnapped and yelled at certainly isn't helping." Peter can feel his eyes sting. He doesn't understand why he's on the verge of crying, he isn't sad, he's upset; he wants to yell, not cry like a baby. "Do you know what it's like? Everyone is living their lives as normal, everyone but me. They don't know what's out there, they think they're safe. My aunt and my friends wonder why I've changed, and I can't tell them. My _best_ friend, Tony! I've never kept secrets from him!" 

The tears spill over, then. They rush down Peter's cheeks, fast like an avalanche. His face is red, and his expression looks pleading. He's shaking his head now, like he had when Tony took the suit away. "...I don't want to be Spider-Man anymore...It doesn't matter, I can't protect anyone, not when there's stuff like _that_ out _there_..." He sniffles, raises his blue sweater sleeve to his eyes and wipes the tears away even though the material makes his eyelids feel raw.

The tears come back, and they blur his vision. He can't see Tony clearly.

Suddenly, Peter's been wrapped in Tony's arms, secure and warm and _comforting_. Peter lets out a sob as he rests his chin on Tony's shoulder. He clutches the fabric of Tony's clothes, gripping the back of his suit tightly.

He hadn't expected the hug, didn't know what it meant. He thought Tony would've been uncomfortable, or would've told him to stop crying. Peter is glad for the hug, though; he had thought about it so many times ever since that first car ride when Tony had opened the door for him. Peter had wanted an adult male figure in his life that he could rely on and be close to, and he wouldn't complain if it was Tony. 

 Peter furrows his eyebrows in confusion. Tony isn't saying anything. “...I,” Peter's voice cracks, “I thought you were disappointed in me...I thought you were mad, so I stayed away...” His tears are slowly stopping. “...You can take my suit away...I-I get it.” He wipes the tears from his cheeks with the back of his hand and pulls away from the hug to see Tony's expression. 

Tony has tears in his eyes. He clears his throat, and shakes his head. His voice is rough, “Peter, listen to me. I'm _proud_ of you. I can say that with confidence. The fact that you're trying and just getting through the day, I'm proud that you can do that. You're strong.” Tony gives him a look, then, and he looks like he's been tired for a long, long time. “You're so much better than me, kid.”

Peter's eyes widen. He hadn't expected that, hadn't expected any of that. He looks away. “I don't feel like I am...How can I feel good about what I do, when there's so much more that I'm not able to do?” 

Tony sets a hand on his shoulder. “Kid, after so many years, I've wondered that myself. You have to remember that you're not alone. There's the Avengers, there's _Dr. Strange_ , there's Quill and his weird family (Peter chuckles at that), and there's everyday people. You have to have more faith in the world. There's good people out there.”

They've come to a stop, and Peter looks out his window to see that they're at his apartment complex.

Tony looks too, then sighs and pats Peter's shoulder. “Okay, well I'm sure you've got homework, so I'll let you go.” He grabs his sunglasses and puts them on. “...Just hang onto the suit, kid. You might change your mind.”

Peter slowly nods, then grabs all his books and messes with them until they're secure in his hands. Tony leans across and opens the door for him, then retreats back to his seat. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Okay,” Peter says, and starts to get out of the car. He hesitates though, one leg out, one in. He leans back and looks at Tony. He wants to hug him, but he can't with the books in his hands, so he just smiles. “Thank you, Tony.”

Tony smiles back, “No problem, Peter;  _thank you_.”

Peter leaves then, and heads up to his apartment. Aunt May is there in the living room, and he greets her. He comes up with an excuse for not having his backpack, then disappears to his room. He drops all his books down, then takes a seat at his desk. 

His suit, encased in the iron spider suit, is tucked in his closet. He can see it poking out, and he stares at it while thinking about what Tony said.

Peter feels better. Maybe it's the good cry he had, maybe it's what Tony said, or maybe it's likely both those things. He's still hurting, still confused, but he knows Tony is there for him. There's other people, too. Maybe his life is different now, but it doesn't necessarily have to be bad just because it is different. 

He reminds himself that the world isn't relying on him. He's the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, that's all anyone is asking of him. He can do it alone, he knows he has before, but now he has the comfort of knowing that he doesn't have to do it alone. 

And he knows Tony will be there. There might be scary aliens in space, scary things beyond their small universe, but if anything happens, Peter knows Tony will be there to help. Others too. 

“Peter,” May calls, knocking on his closed door. “Would you like something to eat?”

Peter smiles. There's May too, who's been there since the beginning. “Sure, I'll be out in a second,” he says. He gets a text from Ned, then, and chuckles as he reads it. There's Ned too, his best friend, his 'guy in the chair'.

Peter will be just fine. The world, too. 


End file.
